Mother’s Day Success

I have always admitted how I find Mother's Day to be the hardest special event in the annual calender, how it has got worse rather than better since Harry arrived.

It makes me acutely aware of just how much I miss my mum, more aware of my mortality, more aware of what she missed, what Harry missed and selfishly what I have missed.

I think of how proud she would be of Harry, of my sisters, my brother and maybe even me. I chastise myself for not realising how special she was, for not telling her how much she meant to me enough, for not apologising for the anxiety and anguish I caused her. I hate that I will never be able to make amends.

Of course, these thoughts and feelings go through me often but Mother's Day always seems to bring them to the surface much more strongly.

I've spoken before about how I naïvely thought this day of the year would be easier once I had Harry and yet it's got harder.

This year though? This year came with an acceptance. Almost like an understanding that no amount of tears, anger or regrets would change things; ultimately, I would still have to get through the day and to try to do so without upsetting Harry or the husband (whose own mum also away 7 years ago). Of course I have known this for the last 10 years so it wasn't new knowledge, I'm not really sure what it was.

This Mother's Day we were blessed with a bright and warm day, so we packed up a picnic and headed to a local attraction called Blaise Castle Estate, which has a couple of lovely and well maintained playgrounds for children of all ages, is a beautiful place for a picnic and has some lovely walks as well. As expected on such a beautiful day, it was busy. And true to form, Harry wanted to go into the playground that is more suitable for older children! Both the husband and I tend to analyse risks so how we managed to produce such a dare-devil is beyond us!

Family selfie!
Family selfie!
Climbing up to the top with a scared Mummy looking on...
Climbing up to the top with a scared Mummy looking on...
And he made it in one piece!
And he made it in one piece!
Managed to convince Daddy to go up too!
Managed to convince Daddy to go up too!
Check out Daddy's socks...!
Check out Daddy's socks...!
My flowers.
My flowers.

It was a lovely day, exactly the sort of day my Mum would have enjoyed with us had she been alive. It was lovely to enjoy the day and whilst there was always the thought at the back of my mind, expecting the tears or sadness to come, they never did. Yet she was, as always, in my thoughts.

The difference this year compared to previous years was beyond what I could have wished for and I can only put that down to the husband and I both giving up alcohol completely in recent weeks. We drank excessively and having stopped, we have truly realised what a detrimental effect it was having on us and more importantly on Harry.

29 thoughts on “Mother’s Day Success

  1. Oh I'm so glad you had a good one. I remember feeling a lot of mixed emotions after my Dad died, for a good few years. I think it's normal. Now of course, I still feel sad on occasion, but it's much more about acceptance, and we talk about him with humour and candour with the children.
    PS - with you on the alcohol. We've been off it for a bit, and it makes such a difference to everything x
    Actually Mummy... recently posted..Girls are amazing – Ask GGMy Profile

    Reply
  2. Aww I feel that pain, my first Mothers day without my Mum, its very hard, glad you saw it all more positively and great news on the battle against alcohol, it does make sadness even darker. Hugs xx
    Jo Bryan recently posted..Plantabox ReviewMy Profile

    Reply
  3. You are doing so well in accepting what has happened and making the day a success for your family. I love your family selfie, it's a wonderful picture.
    Louisa recently posted..SuffocationMy Profile

    Reply
  4. So glad you were able to enjoy Mother's Day at last, I"m sure it's what your mum would have wanted. Beautiful photos of you all.
    Amazing what giving up drinking can do! Having never drunk alcohol myself, I can't relate to giving up, but I know I generally feel healthy! x
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted..The leaving doMy Profile

    Reply
  5. So glad you have turned a corner and have reached a stage of acceptance regarding your mother. Although time is a great healer it never completely eliminates the pain of not having one' s mother around but I always feel that mine lives on in my children and in the way that I raise them. I truly hope you continue to enjoy all your special days with your family and all your lovely memories of your mum.

    Reply
  6. What fabulous pics and Harry is clearly a dare devil just like Aaron. I love those wooden climbing huts - haven't worked out a name for them. Aaron's bravery is something that was nature rather than nurture too.

    I really LOVE that family pic of the 3 of you.

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum and how hard it makes Mother's Day. Makes me feel rather stupid that me and my Mum currently don't speak. Life is too short right? I really really need to sort it out *sighs* .

    Thanks for the nudge.

    Liska xx
    Liska @NewMumOnline recently posted..How Does Your Garden Grow?My Profile

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge