A to Z of Family – B is for Battles

There is a saying among parents which is, at times, harder to put into practice than carry through. "Pick your battles".

As I said last week, we are having a few issues with Harry of late. He has developed a bit of an attitude and thanks to my lovely readers, I have realised that this is entirely normal, however difficult.

Since last week, I have taken the "Pick your battles" saying on board once more. I have chosen what things are worth fighting over.

Puts his shoes on the wrong feet? Don't battle, eventually he will get uncomfortable and want to change them so they are on the correct ones.

Has a tantrum over teeth brushing? Battle, particularly as last week at the dentist we were told he showing signs of decay already!

Won't eat his meals? Don't battle, put it on the side and can come back to it until it's the next snack/meal time as appropriate.

Wants to wear weather inappropriate clothing? Go ahead, knock yourself out, it just means I have to take a jumper/t-shirt/coat as appropriate.

battles
Image courtesy of imagermajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The trouble with deciding which battles are worth taking on is when you have a difference of opinion to your partner. The husband, for example, will take to spoon-feeding Harry at dinner time if he is being difficult, something I am wholly against as I figure if he is hungry, he will eat. It's not like he doesn't know how to feed himself. If I am honest, it is something which has caused tension between the husband and myself but that must surely be something Harry can pick up on, so with much reluctance, I am letting it go.

Over the past week both the husband and I have had one-to-one time with Harry and for the last couple of days things have mostly been a little better but of course we still have battles. Manners are very important to the me and the husband and is something we are absolutely united on. I mean things like saying please and thank you, waiting your turn rather than no elbows on the dinner table. When we are out and about people often comment on how well-mannered and happy Harry is and yet at home, rudeness seems to have increased. For example "Get me a biscuit NOW!" just is not acceptable in my book and, rightly or wrongly IS something I know the husband and I agree on.

I want to know, what do you stand firm on? What battles do you choose to fight and what do you let slide?

A to Z of Family

5 thoughts on “A to Z of Family – B is for Battles

  1. Oh, such a great post and timely reminder! I don't need to pick my battles with my son (yet! - he's only 10 months old), but my mother-in-law lives with us to help out while we work (from home), and I am constantly picking my battles as to what to tell her and what to just let go. There is a huge cultural difference in how we raise kids and how Thai's raise kids, which can be very difficult and frustrating at times.
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  2. It's a tough one! My husband and I are slightly divided on battles too. He places more importance on table manners and tidiness than I do. A tidy bedroom is nice, but I'm not going to stress about it. Non-negotiabled are hurting siblings and being cheeky/ answering backs. I've also found I've had to gradually move the goalposts because things that weren't fighting over at 4 can become totally unacceptable at 10.
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  3. I definitely pic my battles. Quite similar to you to be honest. If shoes go on the wrong feet and they refuse to change them, fine. I let them pick their own clothes (except Zachary who is too young of course) - that certainly helps with the morning battles.

    I too wouldn't take to spoon feeding if they are more than capable of feeding themselves. I was once told that a child will never starve themselves and if they are hungry they will eat. I have many a time thrown dinner away because the children have refused to eat it and it's sat for a long time.

    Choosing your battles is difficult - but it definitely can help things run more smoothly (and for your own sanity!).

    Thanks for linking up with the A to Z of Family xx
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